He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize