Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
