hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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