she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize