They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
