You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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