he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I believe in your delicious
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
