if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize