i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
