how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize