At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize