I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
