Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
