yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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