All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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