Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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