I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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