I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
