ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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