Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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