I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
