I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
