I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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