4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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