got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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