If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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