Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
