Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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