I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
