i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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