why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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