I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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