I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
