All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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