So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
