Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
