i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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