oh god the rape fog is back!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
