Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
