hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
