Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think my mom watched the whole time
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
