I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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