Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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