Your mouth is God's brothel.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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