her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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