I want to have your abortion
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize