I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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