You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize