Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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