He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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