You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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