Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
