I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
