If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
