I want to make a zoo with you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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