My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
