The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
