Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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