those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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