I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
